Find Your Happiness

About Me

I'm not always a perfect girl. My house is a mess, I'm often late and I'm always trying to do a hundred things at once. But I've found a way to love myself exactly as I am and I've created a life that fills me with joy. And now my mission in life is to find every other tired, disillusioned woman out there and help you to create a life that you'll love too. The life that you deserve. A life that will make you truly happy.
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thoughts and musings

By Suzanne Benson 26 Jul, 2017
For a long time I was disconnected from my femininity.

I chose a career in a hard-nosed masculine world, where the traits that were recognised and rewarded were aggression, coercion and confrontation. Getting one over on your competition was applauded and relationships were strained and tense.

This masculine model didn't sit comfortably with my soul, so as I grew older and more confident I rebelled against this way of working and adopted a warmer, more collaborative style. But I did it almost in stealth. Afraid that if I showed up as who I really am I would be perceived as weak. And even though my feminine approach proved to be much more effective than anything else that I had observed, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it would never be acceptable to the people in charge. So I hid the real me away and did my best to appear strong, capable and worthy.

I realise now that glimpses of the real me shone through anyway and they were noticeable to anyone who cared to look, but for years I did my best to suppress my softness and creativity.

I finally broke free and took off the mask when I left the corporate world a few years ago. I had woken up my inner goddess and was no longer afraid to show her to the world in all of her feminine glory. I am now anchored in my femininity and proud to be a woman.

You CAN be both STRONG and gentle .
You CAN be both FIERCE and protective .
You CAN be both BOLD and loving.
You CAN be both AMBITIOUS and nurturing .


Be more of YOU.

Let your softness and creativity flow freely and witness the extraordinary impact that it will have on the world around you.

There's bravery in being 'soft'.

Go on, give it a try.


Love and light

Suze


#Riseandshine



By Suzanne Benson 11 Jan, 2017
Right about now everyone's obsessively creating their resolutions for the New Year, thinking about all of the things that they're going to do. Because I'm a bit of a rebel and I like to buck the trend, I thought I'd make this post about things that I believe we should all stop doing.
 
Here goes....

1. Self sabotage

It's all very well setting these goals for yourself, but what happens next? Do you file the list away somewhere and forget about it? Or worse, do you unconsciously sabotage your own success? Take some time to think carefully about this one, as  you may be doing it in several ways without even realising. For instance, are you filling yourself up with the wrong foods, which make you feel tired and sluggish and therefore completely unable to go for a run/join the gym/work on your business/whatever it is that you want to do?
Are you compulsively frittering away all of your money on pretty but unnecessary things, even though you promised yourself that you'd curb your spending and pay off some debt?!

2. Caring what other people think

I have spent most of my life worrying about what other people think of me. Am I clever/funny/attractive enough? And it didn't matter how many times I received a compliment or achieved a goal, I was still wracked with self doubt. It's stupid and it's destructive. Stop it. Stop it now. The only thing that really matters is how you feel about yourself and fortunately you have complete control over that one. If you don't like yourself much, there are lots of things that you can do to change that. Firstly, write down a list of your positive qualities. Don't be shy about it, really sing your own praises for a moment. And if you find that too difficult, ask some of your loved ones to tell you the 3 things that they like best about you. You'll be pleasantly surprised by what they say and it'll make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

3. Negative self talk

How much time do you spend beating yourself up about your failures, weaknesses, bad qualities? Chances are it's too much and most of those things you're blowing way out of proportion. If you've made a mistake, acknowledge it, accept it, forgive yourself and move forward. Making mistakes is an important way to learn valuable new life skills and lessons, so embrace the occasional failure.
Spend some time noticing all of the amazing things that you achieved last year, large and small, at work and in your personal life. Give yourself a pat on the back and feel proud of yourself for being so brilliant. You are you know. You're pretty amazing.

4. Taking responsibility for other people's emotions

If you're a sensitive soul like me you may fall prey to this one quite regularly. If somebody upsets you, how do you deal with it? Do you speak up and tell them how you feel? Or are you worried that by being honest you'll upset them or hurt their feelings and so you keep your thoughts to yourself? For many years I fell into the latter camp and I didn't even realise what I was doing. It sounds harmless enough, but it isn't really. If you don't recognise your own needs and you don't articulate them to the people around you, how will they ever be able to meet them? Speak up. It's important for you to be heard.

5. Ignoring your own needs

You MUST take good care of yourself. It is not selfish, nor does it make you a bad person/friend/parent. In order for you to keep caring for others, you need to refill your own tank occasionally too. Especially if you're a Mum. Devoting all of your time and energy to looking after little people is exhausting and it's ok for you to admit that and ask for a break every now and then. Take a bath, read a magazine, go for a walk. Hand the kids over to somebody that you trust and make a run for it!
Seriously, you are important too. Don't forget about you.


Love and light
Suze




By Suzanne Benson 04 Jan, 2017
Happy New Year my lovelies.

It's taken me a few days to feel ready to write this and I feel I should explain why that is. Firstly, I wanted to let all of the New Year excitement die down a little bit and wait until all of the 'New Year, New You!' type messages have been sent.
But more importantly (and more honestly) it was because this time of year has never filled me with joy and excitement.
For me it has always been a time to reflect on the last year and feel disappointed in myself because of all of the resolutions that I made in January and failed miserably to achieve. Again.
Let's be honest, I made the same resolutions every Jan for about 5 years and didn't once actually get around to doing anything about them!
And the thought of setting new goals has always filled me with dread and a kind of panic. What should I be planning for this year? What do I really want to achieve? Am I actually capable of achieving those things anyway? I was setting my self up for failure.

Over the last few years I've done plenty of reflection and personal development and I no longer feel the same way about myself or my life. I'm genuinely excited about the wonderful things that I can bring to the world and the many people that I know I'll help this year. But old habits die hard and I'm aware of the same old icky feeling lurking beneath the positivity and excitement. 'Are you good enough?' the voice of doubt whispers. 'Aren't you just kidding yourself that you can make a difference?'. I'm going to ignore the whispers and throw myself headlong into my plans for this month, but just in case you're out there, experiencing the same doubts and fears, I wanted to let you know that it's ok. You're not alone.

There is so much pressure at this time of year to make resolutions, to get excited about all of the wonderful things that could happen this year. And get excited you should, because amazing things might happen. But if you're a sensitive soul like me, all of the planning can get overwhelming and leave you feeling weary, even a little afraid or lost.

Don't worry if that's how you feel. Forget resolutions. Take a look back at 2016 notice all of the things that you achieved, no matter how big or small. Feel proud of yourself for surviving another year, for learning, growing, coping, exceeding your own expectations.

2017 will be just fine. You will be just fine.

Lots of love and light,

Suze
xx



By Suzanne Benson 07 Feb, 2016
Okay, so it didn't happen just like that! The decision to make a change came at the end of a long, torturous period of self doubt, fear, worry and plain old misery. But that defining moment did eventually come. The one where I finally allowed myself to believe that things could be different. That I deserved a better life than the one I'd created and become trapped in. That I could actually be HAPPY!

Maybe, like I did, you look at your life and think there's nothing really wrong with it. You have a god job, nice house, a couple of kids etc. Those are the things that you wanted, that you've been working so hard for. But then you wonder why you don't feel more satisfied with your life. In actual fact you feel deflated, defeated, worn out. You're not alone in feeling those things, there are many more people out there feeling the same way. We convince ourselves that if we can just earn a bit more money, get that promotion, meet our dream partner, have children, that everything will be ok. We'll feel better. But that feeling of happiness that we're waiting for just doesn't materialise. There's always another goal to achieve, another milestone to pass, another layer of stress to add in to your already overcrammed life.

Maybe, just maybe, your happiness isn't tied to achieving those things at all. Maybe you need to break free from that endless cycle of what ifs and maybe whens and try something different.  Spend some time thinking about what lights you up and makes you fizz with excitement and then take an honest look at your life and see how much time you allocate to those things. I'm willing to bet that it's not very much. Not enough.

It's never ever too late to make a change. Don't wait until you're 80 and weighed down with regret over the things that you weren't brave enough to do. Go and do them now. Right now. No more excuses. Your life can be whatever you want it to be and the only thing standing in your way is you.

You only get one chance at this thing called life. Make it a good one. x

By Suzanne Benson 03 Feb, 2016
I've decided to take the plunge and add a blog to my site. It's something that I've been meaning to do for ages, but didn't quite get round to. It'll be a great way for me to share all sorts of things with you, from random musings, to details of courses and coaching packages as they are launched. Keep checking in and I hope you'll find something that interests or inspires you :)

Recent Posts


By Suzanne Benson 26 Jul, 2017
For a long time I was disconnected from my femininity.

I chose a career in a hard-nosed masculine world, where the traits that were recognised and rewarded were aggression, coercion and confrontation. Getting one over on your competition was applauded and relationships were strained and tense.

This masculine model didn't sit comfortably with my soul, so as I grew older and more confident I rebelled against this way of working and adopted a warmer, more collaborative style. But I did it almost in stealth. Afraid that if I showed up as who I really am I would be perceived as weak. And even though my feminine approach proved to be much more effective than anything else that I had observed, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it would never be acceptable to the people in charge. So I hid the real me away and did my best to appear strong, capable and worthy.

I realise now that glimpses of the real me shone through anyway and they were noticeable to anyone who cared to look, but for years I did my best to suppress my softness and creativity.

I finally broke free and took off the mask when I left the corporate world a few years ago. I had woken up my inner goddess and was no longer afraid to show her to the world in all of her feminine glory. I am now anchored in my femininity and proud to be a woman.

You CAN be both STRONG and gentle .
You CAN be both FIERCE and protective .
You CAN be both BOLD and loving.
You CAN be both AMBITIOUS and nurturing .


Be more of YOU.

Let your softness and creativity flow freely and witness the extraordinary impact that it will have on the world around you.

There's bravery in being 'soft'.

Go on, give it a try.


Love and light

Suze


#Riseandshine



By Suzanne Benson 11 Jan, 2017
Right about now everyone's obsessively creating their resolutions for the New Year, thinking about all of the things that they're going to do. Because I'm a bit of a rebel and I like to buck the trend, I thought I'd make this post about things that I believe we should all stop doing.
 
Here goes....

1. Self sabotage

It's all very well setting these goals for yourself, but what happens next? Do you file the list away somewhere and forget about it? Or worse, do you unconsciously sabotage your own success? Take some time to think carefully about this one, as  you may be doing it in several ways without even realising. For instance, are you filling yourself up with the wrong foods, which make you feel tired and sluggish and therefore completely unable to go for a run/join the gym/work on your business/whatever it is that you want to do?
Are you compulsively frittering away all of your money on pretty but unnecessary things, even though you promised yourself that you'd curb your spending and pay off some debt?!

2. Caring what other people think

I have spent most of my life worrying about what other people think of me. Am I clever/funny/attractive enough? And it didn't matter how many times I received a compliment or achieved a goal, I was still wracked with self doubt. It's stupid and it's destructive. Stop it. Stop it now. The only thing that really matters is how you feel about yourself and fortunately you have complete control over that one. If you don't like yourself much, there are lots of things that you can do to change that. Firstly, write down a list of your positive qualities. Don't be shy about it, really sing your own praises for a moment. And if you find that too difficult, ask some of your loved ones to tell you the 3 things that they like best about you. You'll be pleasantly surprised by what they say and it'll make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

3. Negative self talk

How much time do you spend beating yourself up about your failures, weaknesses, bad qualities? Chances are it's too much and most of those things you're blowing way out of proportion. If you've made a mistake, acknowledge it, accept it, forgive yourself and move forward. Making mistakes is an important way to learn valuable new life skills and lessons, so embrace the occasional failure.
Spend some time noticing all of the amazing things that you achieved last year, large and small, at work and in your personal life. Give yourself a pat on the back and feel proud of yourself for being so brilliant. You are you know. You're pretty amazing.

4. Taking responsibility for other people's emotions

If you're a sensitive soul like me you may fall prey to this one quite regularly. If somebody upsets you, how do you deal with it? Do you speak up and tell them how you feel? Or are you worried that by being honest you'll upset them or hurt their feelings and so you keep your thoughts to yourself? For many years I fell into the latter camp and I didn't even realise what I was doing. It sounds harmless enough, but it isn't really. If you don't recognise your own needs and you don't articulate them to the people around you, how will they ever be able to meet them? Speak up. It's important for you to be heard.

5. Ignoring your own needs

You MUST take good care of yourself. It is not selfish, nor does it make you a bad person/friend/parent. In order for you to keep caring for others, you need to refill your own tank occasionally too. Especially if you're a Mum. Devoting all of your time and energy to looking after little people is exhausting and it's ok for you to admit that and ask for a break every now and then. Take a bath, read a magazine, go for a walk. Hand the kids over to somebody that you trust and make a run for it!
Seriously, you are important too. Don't forget about you.


Love and light
Suze




By Suzanne Benson 04 Jan, 2017
Happy New Year my lovelies.

It's taken me a few days to feel ready to write this and I feel I should explain why that is. Firstly, I wanted to let all of the New Year excitement die down a little bit and wait until all of the 'New Year, New You!' type messages have been sent.
But more importantly (and more honestly) it was because this time of year has never filled me with joy and excitement.
For me it has always been a time to reflect on the last year and feel disappointed in myself because of all of the resolutions that I made in January and failed miserably to achieve. Again.
Let's be honest, I made the same resolutions every Jan for about 5 years and didn't once actually get around to doing anything about them!
And the thought of setting new goals has always filled me with dread and a kind of panic. What should I be planning for this year? What do I really want to achieve? Am I actually capable of achieving those things anyway? I was setting my self up for failure.

Over the last few years I've done plenty of reflection and personal development and I no longer feel the same way about myself or my life. I'm genuinely excited about the wonderful things that I can bring to the world and the many people that I know I'll help this year. But old habits die hard and I'm aware of the same old icky feeling lurking beneath the positivity and excitement. 'Are you good enough?' the voice of doubt whispers. 'Aren't you just kidding yourself that you can make a difference?'. I'm going to ignore the whispers and throw myself headlong into my plans for this month, but just in case you're out there, experiencing the same doubts and fears, I wanted to let you know that it's ok. You're not alone.

There is so much pressure at this time of year to make resolutions, to get excited about all of the wonderful things that could happen this year. And get excited you should, because amazing things might happen. But if you're a sensitive soul like me, all of the planning can get overwhelming and leave you feeling weary, even a little afraid or lost.

Don't worry if that's how you feel. Forget resolutions. Take a look back at 2016 notice all of the things that you achieved, no matter how big or small. Feel proud of yourself for surviving another year, for learning, growing, coping, exceeding your own expectations.

2017 will be just fine. You will be just fine.

Lots of love and light,

Suze
xx



By Suzanne Benson 07 Feb, 2016
Okay, so it didn't happen just like that! The decision to make a change came at the end of a long, torturous period of self doubt, fear, worry and plain old misery. But that defining moment did eventually come. The one where I finally allowed myself to believe that things could be different. That I deserved a better life than the one I'd created and become trapped in. That I could actually be HAPPY!

Maybe, like I did, you look at your life and think there's nothing really wrong with it. You have a god job, nice house, a couple of kids etc. Those are the things that you wanted, that you've been working so hard for. But then you wonder why you don't feel more satisfied with your life. In actual fact you feel deflated, defeated, worn out. You're not alone in feeling those things, there are many more people out there feeling the same way. We convince ourselves that if we can just earn a bit more money, get that promotion, meet our dream partner, have children, that everything will be ok. We'll feel better. But that feeling of happiness that we're waiting for just doesn't materialise. There's always another goal to achieve, another milestone to pass, another layer of stress to add in to your already overcrammed life.

Maybe, just maybe, your happiness isn't tied to achieving those things at all. Maybe you need to break free from that endless cycle of what ifs and maybe whens and try something different.  Spend some time thinking about what lights you up and makes you fizz with excitement and then take an honest look at your life and see how much time you allocate to those things. I'm willing to bet that it's not very much. Not enough.

It's never ever too late to make a change. Don't wait until you're 80 and weighed down with regret over the things that you weren't brave enough to do. Go and do them now. Right now. No more excuses. Your life can be whatever you want it to be and the only thing standing in your way is you.

You only get one chance at this thing called life. Make it a good one. x

By Suzanne Benson 03 Feb, 2016
I've decided to take the plunge and add a blog to my site. It's something that I've been meaning to do for ages, but didn't quite get round to. It'll be a great way for me to share all sorts of things with you, from random musings, to details of courses and coaching packages as they are launched. Keep checking in and I hope you'll find something that interests or inspires you :)
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